Adult ADHD

adult adhd
ADHD in women

Plays well with others, has no indoor voice.  That was the teacher feedback  on my first grade report card.  

The comments grew in the following years.  Chatty.  Spacey.  Off topic.  Excitable. Dramatic. Smart.  Lacks motivation.  Talks too much.  I was chastised.  Given extra assignments.  Offered busy tasks. I was placed in a gifted program.  I was the bane of many teachers and the quirky conundrum for others.  I was so many things…but not ADHD.

Then in college, my psychology major friends approached me when they needed a subject to diagnose.  Lindsey, we’re learning about attention deficit disorder and I’d like you to take a test.  I was shocked.  In 20 years, no one had ever told me that I could have ADHD.  I knew several wild boys in middle school, but theater girls had never been candidates for Attention Deficit Disorder.

I called my mom (a special educator for those 20 years) and she told me that I’d been tested as a child but they’d chosen not to medicate me.  My brain exploded.  I had an explanation for all the wild thoughts and behaviors that I struggled to control, but I still didn’t see anyone talking about ADHD women like me.

What is Adult ADHD?

According to the Mayo Clinic: Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health disorder that includes a combination of persistent problems, such as difficulty paying attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. Adult ADHD can lead to unstable relationships, poor work or school performance, low self-esteem, and other problems.

Adult ADHD often goes undiagnosed because doctors and therapists tend to focus on anxiety and depression, which are symptoms of ADHD.  And insomnia.  And panic attacks.  And confusion.  And mood swings.  All of the things I’ve been treated for or chastised for are all connected to my brain, my ADHD brain.

It’s only as an adult that I’ve finally been able to focus on the root cause of so many of my issues.  I’m not the only one.  Until recently, ADHD has not been widely researched in women. Much more is known about how it affects children and men.  This makes it difficult to receive a diagnosis and get appropriate treatment.

Women’s ADHD often gets overlooked until college, when we begin to show a lack of self-regulation and self-management.  We get overwhelmed, exhausted, and often revert to risk taking behaviors.  These behaviors are more subtle and present differently than in men.  What does ADHD look like in women?

What ADHD May Look Like In Women

  • You talk more than anyone else you know
  • Your mind drifts during conversations unless you’re the one talking or it’s a topic you find very interesting.
  • Friendships can be difficult to navigate because social rules seem complicated.
  • You get overwhelmed easily by everyday tasks
  • You don’t feel organized with money and are usually behind with bills. 
  • You often overcompensate for other problems (you don’t have a clean outfit to wear, so you buy a new one) 

ADHD in women

Other conditions can also be present along with ADHD. When you have more than one condition, they are called comorbid or coexisting conditions.

Coexisting Conditions with ADHD

  • Anxiety Disorders
  • Substance use Disorders
  • Sleep Disorders
  • Mood Disorders
  • Eating Disorders 

It’s good to be aware of these coexisting conditions because they can cause symptoms that look similar to ADHD and often that is what medical professionals look at first.  So many of my obvious symptoms are just ways that my ADHD manifests.

If this rings true to you, definitely start researching ADHD.  You don’t have to be bouncing off the walls to be a candidate.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, starting the health discovery process can be incredibly helpful.  Even if it just means putting a name to your issue.  Welcome to the club chatty girl.

For great resources on ADHD or other mental health conditions click here

Lindsey

Lindsey is the queen of ADHD and has multiple autoimmune conditions.  Lindsey is a neurodivergent educator and ADHD coach.

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17 Comments

    1. I got diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago and I’m glad to see increased awareness of ADHD in women.

      I never thought I was the “ADHD type”, but I landed on the topic by accident and holy cats, my whole life made sense all of a sudden. It’s such a weird feeling to realize that not everyone is like me.

      The upside is that now I know why I am the way I am, and I try to find ways to make things work for me. Thanks for helping spread awareness of female ADHD!

      Your blog looks lovely 🙂

    2. I really enjoyed reading this post. ADHD and also autism are so often overlooked in women! The more information there is on the internet about this topic, the better. 💜

  1. All the adult women in my family have recently been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. We’ve always also struggled with Depression and anxiety. The one thing I’ve been able to translate from my teaching life to coping with my own frustrations is the phrase ‘whatever works’. Some coping strategies work well for a season and not afterward. So even if something isn’t working now or doesn’t seem like it applies to or works for me- it doesn’t hurt to file it away because it may eventually. And just because something’s working now doesn’t mean I have to cling for dear life to it if it stops working in the future. Whatever (healthy) thing that works to get the job done. And if I start leaning too much on the unhealthy habits again I know I need to go back to talk therapy again for some accountability. Great and insightful post!

  2. This is really so interesting, I don’t personally have experience with it but I think being aware of it for everyone around us so that I and others may be able to understand it better rather than remain in the dark!

  3. Thank you for this post! I was diagnosed with ADHD as a 28 year old woman. I knew life was pretty overwhelming my entire life, but it didn’t realize how much it contributed to my anxiety my entire life until I was a mom with 2 kids.

  4. Great post! My boyfriend has ADHD and I see how much he struggles. I have social anxiety and that’s difficult as well. This was very informative. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Very informative article again! I love learning about new things and there is always some new information waiting for me on your page. Thank you for sharing!

  6. This article was very well structured and eye-opening. I have often wondered if I should get myself checked, but something always stops me. Like I won’t be taken seriously or I’m overreacting.

  7. Thank you for bringing light to this! I always thought of kids when hearing about adhd. Never occurred to me in adulthood! Very informative!

  8. You are telling my story! I wasn’t diagnosed until college, and now I am learning more and more 20 years later. It’s interesting to see all the coping skills I gave myself when I was younger and now understanding why.

  9. I was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 53! I had developed great coping skills (educator), yet the onset of perimenopause and soon after that Fibromyalgia, made coping without me education impossible.

  10. This article is me, I was diagnosed in my late 40’s. I was medicated and life was good. I then I went thru a horrible break up, sexual harassment at work of course my fault and my world as I knew it crushed. Now my ADHD is out of control or is depression. Moved overseas, no medication but I learned to deal . My life was simple. Now im back, can’t find the right medication, not sure if is depression , aniexty or a combination of all three. Still working on me. It’s okay not to be okay. Thank you for allowing me a medium.

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